Friendship begun, surprises still coming.

your eyes were once bright
filled with life
now each day feels like a cold stare
stabbing in my back
I gave you a second chance
with such an everlasting undying love
for a delicate flower
covered in thorns
the past repeats itself
everyday
to the certainty know as
our time spent together
is this it
is this my last goodbye
our last chance at fate
it`s to late now
I want what was once mine
but has now shattered into a million pieces
my own broken heart

Tombstone Diaries rock my fucking world.

Song of the moment: How This Love Binds by Graham Tilsley

Syr Cxr Tyx.

Math class. Do i ever miss it. All of these science classes that i am taking right now, most of which have a lot to do with math, and i still can't seem to enjoy them.
Maybe it has to be completely unrelated to any other subject, for me to thouroughly enjoy it.

Most of my posts lately have been all love-mushy. I apologize for that fact. Gets kind of boring yes? I will try not to let that happen again.

I have decided this evening, that musicians are the hottest men alive. When they are playing, and hit that zone when they are completely lost in their music.....do me now.
They become one with their instruments, their music, for a moment, however brief, and it's like an instant view into their soul. A jolt of electrical excitement. It is both intoxicating and addicting. You can't seem to get enough of it.
And then, its over. They are putting the instrument down, and as you feel the moment washing away, you lash out at it instinctively, trying to hold onto the last fading seconds of bliss.
Man i love music.

Song of the moment: Mad World by Gary Jules

Drowning.

I feel like i've been caught in a trap. Repeating the same mistakes over and over again, but i can't seem to stop. I'm able to float up the to ceiling and watch myself and say, "Why are you still hanging on? There's nothing here for you." or "Why are you letting go so easily?" but i don't seem to get a response.
A feeling that warms your insides, lights up your life, makes your heart ache in a good way. That's what i'm looking for. But maybe i am searching for something that just... doesn't exist?

Off to wallow in style.

Song of the moment: Fly by Schiavo

Song of the Moment.

I was listening to this song (Beautiful by Sarah Sadler) and it reminded me of a lot of my close friends. A select few more than others, but mostly everyone. So i thought i would post the lyrics for y'all. Enjoy.

When i'm with you
I see the world in a different light
You shine so bright.

When i'm close to you
I feel the way that you really are
And its not hard

You make me wanna be
So beautiful.
You make me wanna be
Just like you
Beautiful.

I think about you
And how you change everything you touch
I love you so much.

You amaze me
You lift me up to a higher place
With a smile on my face

You make me wanna be
So beautiful.
You make me wanna be
Just like you
You make me wanna be
So beautiful.
You make me wanna be
Just like you
Beautiful.

Beautiful....beautiful....beautiful....
Beautiful.

Classic.

Batty: Are you sure?
Zach: I'm positive.
Batty: Only fools are positive.
Zach: Are you sure?
Batty: I'm positive. Oh No!

Llama face! Llama faaaaaace!

Humans, delicious and nutricious. Taste just like chicken!

Nu uuuuh. Ya huuuuuuh. Nu uh. Ya huh. Nu uh! Ya huh! Nu uh! Ya huh! Nu uh! Ya huh!

Oop! Gravity works.

Price check on prune juice bob, price check on prune juice.

Batty: Shoes. Animals dont have shoes. A HUMAN!
Chrysta: A TREE!
*SMASH*

Oh disney movie humor. It never gets old. We must have a disney movie night one of these days and watch some of the funniest movies ever made.

Song of the moment: Send Me On My Way by Rusted Root

Conversing with Kyle.

I apologize profusely about the lack of posts over the past few days to everyone that looks forward to them.

I was having a discussion tonight with my good friend Kyle Martin about the insanity of women.
Now, i may have offended some already, but when you think about it, its true. We really are insane.
How come we are drawn to the ass holes?
It doesnt seem to add up. We drop the perfect ones for the scum of the earth, and then complain to each other about the disatisfying treatment that we recieve.
Do we do this simply because we like to whine to one another? Is it embedded in our genes to go throught this process at least oncein our lives? Or could it possibly be because when we find something so perfect, we are afraid to hold on to it, for fear of losing it?
Be the hopeless romantic that i am, i sure hope its the last one. I think that we need to start taking that leap of faith. Lets try for once, to look past that horizon of fear and jump over the edge. Put some trust in ourselves, and those that we are attaching ourselves to that this could last. And be able to except that even if it doesnt, that we will be able to continue on, loving both one another and ourselves more for experincing this empowering love.

If anyone has some enlightning views on this topic, please feel free to express them. I think we could use some insight into the female mind. Lord knows i would appreciate some.

Song of the moment: I'm Gonna Love You Tonight by Lee Ann Wormack

Thoughts.

*If your a bird, I'm a bird*

Love.
Sometimes, i wonder what its all about. Truly.
Does anyone ever really find it?
I would like to think so, but i am a hopeless romantic and will be for the rest of my days. (Some would say wimp, i may agree)
But what does it mean.
Can we really promise that we will feel the same way about someone for the rest of our lives? How does anyone know?
Is there really one perfect person out there for everyone?
How do we know that we are going to find them?
What if we only have one chance at everlasting happiness, and we throw it away?
What if we never find love?

I used to think this way. That i would never find it, never be able to unlock that secret door that seems to always be just beyond my grasp, my comprehension. But now i have found hope. I would like to think that some day, just maybe, i will be able to experience that which has kept so many writers and poets enthrawled over the seemingly endless years. I am ready to be patient. To wait for my turn. At love.

Song of the moment: Tonight and the Rest of My Life by Nina Gordon

My thoughts are all jumbled this evening. I cant get one sentence straightened out in my head so i apologize for the boring nature of this pointless post.

Song of the moment: Out of Control by Hoobastank

Cross-dressing.

My good friend Andrew and i have decided that i am a female cross-dresser, the first he has ever encountered mind you. Simone and i were trying to decided earlier today if it is actually possible to be a female cross-dresser since women can basically wear both male and female designed clothing. Any thoughts?

Aaron you mentioned something about wanting to meet. You should come to the show at The Bassment this evening (thursday) and maybe it can be arranged:)

Simone, we must go tea shopping. Immediately. I crave.

Max loves me. My life is complete.

Song of the moment: Anything by Pink Martini. So many good relaxing songs, and then out of nowhere, the perfect cha-cha song. Brilliant.

Void.

Hey everyone. I apologize to anyone who looks forward to my daily blogs (ok so no one, i understand completely, its not all that exciting i can assure you), but i have absolutely nothing to say this evening. I am so drained from school work, that any creativity has been sucked right out of me. Hopefully i will have something interesting to say tomorrow.

Song of the moment: Njosnavelin by Sigur Ros

Limbo.

Inspiration
It seems to come and go.
How do we know when it will be back again? Or if it ever will return?
Waiting...always waiting...
It hits.
Elation seeps through you as you rush to find any means to fulfill this sudden urge, this carnal desire to create.
Raw emotions unleashed, tumbling out into the world
Then its gone.
As suddenly as it appeared, it has vanished and you are left with a unfinished masterpiece
Back to waiting...always waiting...

I have been inspired. Thank you Kyle.

Song of the moment: The yet untitled masterpieces written by Kyle Martin. And Evan Vrinton. Vrinten?? I dont quite know. Not important. You all know who i mean.

Story Time With Benny.

I like cookies but do you know what i like better? Monkies.
The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I bought 200.
I like monkies.

I took 200 monkies home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching each other in the genitals. I laughed. Then they punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt to their environment too well. They would screech, hurl themselves off the couch into the wall at high speeds.
Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour. Two hours later i found out why they were so inexpensive; they died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room. On the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked i had to 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck.Then i had one wet dead monkey and 199 dead monkeys.

I tried to pretend they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while. That is until they started to decompose. It started to smell really bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and i didn't want to call a plumber. I was embarrased.

I tried to slow the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so i had to change them every thirty seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did i know my bed was flammable. I tried to extinguish the fire. Then i had one dead, wet monkey, 2 frozen monkeys, and 197 dead charred monkeys in a pile on my bed.

The odour wasn't improving. I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my dead monkeys and to use my bathroom. I severly beat one of the monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwning them away but the garbage man told me that the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told them i had a wet one. He wouldn't take that one either.

I gave them out at halloween. No one knew quite what to say. They pretended that they liked them but i could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So i punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys. The End.

For Aaron.

Copy and paste this and post it in your blog so I can read it.

A: List 10 random tracks from Winamp:
Keith Urban - Someone Like You
Metallica - Fade to Black
The Who - Baba O' Riely
The Postal Service - Such Great Heights
The Northern Pikes - World's Away
Big & Rich - Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy
Ram Jam - Black Betty
Hot Hot Heat - Talk to Me, Dance with Me
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - Fishing in the Dark
Lynard Skynard - Sweet Home Alabama

C: The last CD you bought is...
The Who - Who's Next

D: What is the song you last listened to before this?
Keith Urban - You'll Think of Me

E: Write down five songs you often listen to or mean alot to you:
Mercy Me - Word of God Speak
Oasis - Wonderwall
U2 - Sunday Bloody Sunday
Kazzer - Pedal to the Metal
Carolyn Dawn Johnson - Life As We Know It

On Summer Flings & Excursions into the Wild.

I had my first summer fling last summer, what a great time. Have any of you ever experienced these? Well, at least i seemed to think it was at the time...how can you tell if it was a fling or not? Maybe it is just because i am inexperienced in these things. That must be it.

So went out to the lake this weekend. Man was that an experience. A friend of mine had to get pulled out of the ditch, and his bumper got pulled off in the process. That was our exciting story from friday night. Saturday morning we made our way to watch my friend Brendon race at an obscenely early hour of the morning and had to make our way through the HUGE snow drifts that were all over the highway. Half of the time we couldn't even see the road. Now THAT was fun. And when we got there, we got to stand out in the snow for an hour. Precious. But we entertained ourselves by doing the chicken dance to keep warm. That night we measured the snow on top of the van. 8 inches since it had been sitting there friday night. The deck of the cabin had 17 inches. 17!!!! It was sooo awesome. Then leaving today it was almost impossible to tell that there had ever been a road where we were, it basically looked like we were taking a joy ride through a field. Woo hoo. But we had an excellent time. So there is a brief glance into my excursion into the wild. I hope you all enjoyed.

Song of the moment: Born to be wild, Steppenwolf

New Friends.

I love meeting new people. The initial rush of pleasure and content in yourself for being interesting enough to capture a new mind. I feel alive.

p.s. I'm gonna be gone for the weekend so i will miss all of you! Post your asses off so i have some good stuff to read when i get back!!

Song of the moment: Always by Blink 182

Experiences.

So tired. Man i hate how parents just spring things on you and then just expect you to drop everything to comply with their wishes, but if you ever tried to pull that on them, BAM! Your getting threatened to be kicked out of the house. I'm not an extension of your arm anymore, i have a life that needs to be attended to. You give me no notice of upcoming events, and then just expect me to be free? No, contrary to popular belief i am NOT just trying to avoid spending time with you. You need to tell me things so that i can BOOK TIME FOR THEM. Its common curtousy.

I apologise for the ranting.

I finally got to meet the new girlfriend of an ex of mine that i am still good friends with tonight for the first time, and she opened my eyes to the world. I hadnt realized how narrow minded i had become as of late about how diverse the experiences that people around our age go through really are. This girl is a year or so older than me. She has a 7 month year old boy named Ben. Shes had to deal with being pregnant, going through labour and giving him up for adoption. Not anything CLOSE to the sheltered little life that i have been living. Well, TRUST me, my life hasnt been THAT perfect, but i havent even come CLOSE to experiencing what this girl has gone through. It astounds me that we have been on this earth for basically the same amount of time, and yet, led such different lives while still being so alike. Just by talking with her for a little while, i found that we shared a lot of the same thoughts, and yet, our lives have turned out so differently. I look forward to becoming closer with her and sharing this musing.

Song of the moment: We're going to be friends by The White Stripes

Enlighten Me.

http://www.thehungersite.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/CTDSites Ya i know everybody knows about it, but how many people still visit it?

Love.
Define love.
Love (luv) n. warm affection; sexual passion; sweetheart; score of nothing. -v.t. have love for. -v.i. be in love.
Now lust.
Lust n. sensual desire; passionate desire. v.i. have passionate desire.

Well, seems pretty easy to distinguish between the two in writing. Then why is it that things become so much more clouded in real life? Maybe it's like the saying "In theory all things work."
Why is it that some people seem to be able to capture or stumble across this erratic thing known as love numerous times over, while others strive to catch a glimpse of it, but are denied the privilege? Why is it that people carelessly toss aside what another can only dream about experiencing?
Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde

Song of the moment: Such great heights by Iron and Wine. I first heard this song by The Postal Service and fell in love with it. This version goes with the mellow mood that i am in now.