A letter, unopened, but sealed with a kiss.

Dear friends,

Thanks for the support guys. Its almost as if...just saying the words "I'm not happy" out loud, made me feel so much better already. Like admitting it lifted a weight off of my chest.

Drunkard, thanks for being so honest. I think i will take a leaf out of your book and tell people more when i'm just not in a good mood and let them deal with that fact.

Anonymous, i would love to hear whats on your chest. Anytime of any day. Even day after day.

Matthew, i don't know if the new me will be all that exciting, but thanks for the warm welcome.

Love, Alyx

Clear as mud.

Wow. I read Ho's blog and i think i may have clarity into my most recent mood problems. Maybe i have been so caught up in puting an act on lately that i'm ok, that i am finally internally combusting.
If this is so, then here it is.



Dear World,

I'm not okay.

Sincerely, Me.

Like watching a balloon rise on a lonely day. A red one.

Why am i in such an emo place lately? Rrrrrr! I just wish i could put letters together into words, and then words in to sentences so i could understand what is going on inside of my head this past year. I feel so lost and up and down. Its like being unable to put one foot in front of the other.
Whatever, i just.....i just don't care anymore. I really don't.

Song of the moment: Dear Jamie...Sincerely, Me by Hellogoodbye

Wake up.

Wow. Life seems to be passing my by lately in a whirlwind, dreamy haze.
I wish it would just stop for a second, so i could catch my breath.

p.s. i apologize for the shitty nature of my blog these days.

Song of the moment: Suspension by Mae

Yummy.

Yah, sorry. Its more quiz results.

You Are A Juicy Kisser!

About Your Kissing Style:


Your lips are totally kissable baby, and you know how to use them.

You are the perfect - with the right combo of lips and tongue.

It's important to flaunt it, so kiss early and often on dates!


What Your Kissing Style Says About You:


You're 100% hot, and you know it. You're all about being sexy, all the time.

You have no trouble scoring dates or kisses ...

Just trouble getting rid of jealous people trying to show you up!

You attract attention from every hot guy and girl... even before you show off your kissing skills.


Your Personal Kissing Matches and Mismatches:



Go out with another Juicy Kisser and you'll be the power couple of the party. Sure, you'll have a ton of
hot kisses, but only after everyone there has checked you guys out. Hook it up with a
Romantic Kisser and you may have found your soulmate.
Romantic Kissers will be attracted to your appeal, and you'll appreciate their loyalty.



Keep away from Carnal Kissers! They'll just try to play you for sex, and
ruin your reputation in a heartbeat. And Freaky Kissers are way too wild and
rough for your style. You prefer pleasure to pain, thank you very much.



How Do *You* Kiss?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

I'm Weird.

This will be reposted on my myspace account when i get home due to the fact that our school has blocked the site, so i apologize for the repeative nature of these posts.

You Are 35% Normal (Occasionally Normal)

You sure do march to your own beat... But you're so weird, people wonder if it's a beat at all You think on a totally different wavelength And it's often a chore to get people to understand you

How Normal Are You?

Personalities are Cool.

I was bored in English this morning so Ann and I took a field trip to the computer room to print stuff, and i came by this cool quiz. WELL! I can NEVER just pass by a quiz without doing it, so there's the results friends. I think that the first four are particularily accurate. Not too sure about the fifth tho....maybe i will read it again. Proably not.

Your #1 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #2 Match: ENTP

The Visionary You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression. You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything. Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off. You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments. You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

Your #3 Match: ESFP

The Performer You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others. A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic. You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally. You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic. You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

Your #4 Match: ESTP

The Doer You are adventurous and risk taking. You act first, think second. You love being the center of attention. Chances are you were the class clown. Competitive, charming, and charasmatic - you have your own code of honor. You live a flexible life, bouncing between a series of activies that interest you. You would make a great salesperson, marketing director, or entrepreneur.

Your #5 Match: INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

What's Your Personality Type?

Thundershowers Bring May Flowers.

I feel like a willow blowing in the wind,
and i just don't know where to begin.
My life is a mess,
and i must digress, i feel a bit depressed.
I need the rain to finally fall,
to help me find,
a new frame of mind.
To wash away the last few days,
and let me start with a clean slate.
But i guess i'll just have to wait...

Song of the moment: Untitled (how could this happen to me) by Simple Plan

Bio with Ann.

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires.And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek.You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships.It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Sounds like i'm a pretty kickass catch. Takers?

Contemplation with Cameron.

Cam and i were discussing how people change this evening when i saw an old picture of him with his long hair and commented on how i missed the old Cam that i saw in that picture. Not only in the physical aspects, but their whole persona/personality. I realized that i had been thinking about this for my friend Brendon just a few weeks or so ago. I mean, i love the Brendon thats here now dearly, but i couldn't help but shed a tear for the old one that i had come to know and trust so deeply.

So, to the old Brendon, i'll miss your punky pants that were big enough to fit five of you in, your old taste in music, our $40 loonie shopping spree's in Walmart, your fabulous massages when you would brush my hair at the same time, and most of all, mellowing on your couch to the mellow song while we dreaded missing you like crazy. To you, goodbye.

I guess we really do only have the time that we are given. Sure, it seems like we will have plenty of time to sleep in a tent in our backyard with our best friends, but no other night will be like tonight. Because tomorrow, that friend will be slightly different, we will be slightly different. We have today. So take time to remember past friends that have changed into the friends that we have now, but go out and seize the memories of tomorrow, today.

Song's of the moment: Wonderwall by Oasis

Somewhere Over the Rainbow & What a Wonderful World by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

To Infinity and Beyond.

I did it.

Claustrophobia n. Fear of small spaces.

Get home from work.
Mail's here.
Letter for you.
You feel your heart sieze up with tension and excitement.
Turn over the envelope, and start to rip it open greedily.
Apprehension overcomes your excited fingers and they start to tremble.
Quick, stuff the letter in your pocket before anyone notices the tell-tale sign of worry.
How long can you put off opening it? Hopefully long enough...

Song of the moment: Prelude by J.S Bach

Fairy Godmothers and Frog Princes.

Stayed in last night for the first time in......wow the first time that i can remember in at least a year and watched movies with my family. And i think we only got in one argument. Must be a record.
Anyways, we watched Catch Me If You Can, A Cinderella Story and After the Sunset. While we were watching A Cinderella Story, i came to the realization that i may never find my one perfect person. But, i think i am ok with that. I have come to terms with being the single friend that all my couple friends enjoy, and i think i can live with that. My aunty Rosie seems to do a pretty stand-up job of it. I mean, its not like i have ever been good at the dating thing anyways. Perhaps i, and therefore anyone who has ever been interested in me, are better off this way. I may not be the right Niki, or never be the right one for that matter, but i like being this Niki.
I think i am content right now. Or at least, i will be. Soon.

Song of the moment: The Book of Love by Peter Gabriel

The World is Growing.

My friend Ho has found her way to the blogging world, and has some pretty intense views on life, so go checkout her blog www.jokrab.blogspot.com. I promise you won't be disappointed. She MAY even sing for you. If your lucky.

Song of the Moment: Grace Like Rain by Todd Agnew

Row, Row, Row your Boat.

I had a bubble bath this evening with incense, soft relaxing music and a good book.
I like bubbles.

Song of the moment: I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You by Colin Hay

Goodnight.

I had a kick ass post. It was radicular, and all two-toned colored and right before i went to publish it, half of it somehow was mysteriously erased. My life is ruined.
And it has only occured to me now that i might of changed half of it to white by accident, therefore not seeing half of the typing and it still being there. Life has just gotten worse.
Gone to contemplate suicide.

Song of the moment: Goodnight, goodnight by Hot Hot Heat