Trying desperately to peer through the mist.

Ever look back on your life and wonder what the hell you've been doing

all along? I see the path that i should be taking, but when i go to

take it, it becomes hazy. Sometimes i feel like i'm not really in

control of my life, like i'm not really living it. What am i doing with

my time? Could i be doing something else? Something better? Something

more meaningful? Am i really here anyways? Sometimes i dont feel like

it...



I'm invisible...





Song of the moment: Njosnavelin by Sigur Ros

A message brought to you by MpghNikay on "The Great Edmonton Expedition."

Best weekend of my life. I was just...happy.


I love you guys.





Song of the moment: Cartwheels by The Reindeer Section

2nd star to the right & straight on until morning.

I can't wait for it to snow.






Song of the moment: Hurt by Nine Inch Nails

I'd get nature in my crannies.

A comment that one of my friends made about his younger brother being more mature than him got me thinking. I also feel that both my younger siblings are more mature than myself. One has her own car (a luxury i have come to believe that i will never be able to indulge in), and the other has a tv, dvd player and game cube in her room. That she paid for. How do i not have anything to show for the money that i earn, which is more than both of them? But thats not the only reason that i find them more mature. They seem more grounded, they know what they want in life, where they're going, they have healthy, mature relationships with people, all things that i can't seem to do, they have achieved. How can this be, when i have been on this earth longer, and should therefore by default, have had more time to figure things out? Maybe younger siblings mature more quickly from a subconscious decision to try and keep up with their older siblings age? Does that even make sense? I don't know, i'm rambling again.
I have too much spare time during the day at school.

Song of the moment: Beating Heart Baby by Head Automatica

And so it begins.

Now many people would find it hard to believe, when they hear about my sleep schedule, that i have only in the past weekend started to experiment with caffine drinks. I can usually average a weekend with anywhere from 12-16 hours of sleep and still be in working condition. So with the addition of caffine drinks, the possiblities seem...endless. Perhaps they will finally help me reach my goal of staying up for a solid 72 hours. Don't worry, i will try and keep myself under control, but they are definently an interesting novelty that i plan to pursue in more detail.

Song of the moment: Sway of Mahogany Chairs by Cedars Bloom.