Lost in the Translation.
My world has been sent reeling. I feel like Alice when she falls through the rabbit hole, or Johnny Depp in Fear & Loathing when he goes on a bad trip. Except that i am completely sober and this is my life.
This sort of feeling seems to reoccur quite frequently when the family in question is brought up, so you'd think i'd be used to it by now, but how can you possibly get used to the feeling that your stomach has dropped out of your body and your blood has run cold and all thoughts have left your head and the electric signals are still firing, but nothing is connecting.
"We have just lost cabin pressure." I can't seem to get my body to function when i am feeling helpless. Not being able to help a person in a particular situation leaves me feeling desolute and useless. But i got myself out of bed today, so thats a start i guess.
I'm dressed, but i don't know what i'm wearing. I'm eating something, but i don't know what it is. I'm typing, but i don't know what i'm saying. I'm looking straight ahead of me, but all i see is her. And him. And how i've let him down.
I'm so sorry.
Song of the moment: Ave Maria
This sort of feeling seems to reoccur quite frequently when the family in question is brought up, so you'd think i'd be used to it by now, but how can you possibly get used to the feeling that your stomach has dropped out of your body and your blood has run cold and all thoughts have left your head and the electric signals are still firing, but nothing is connecting.
"We have just lost cabin pressure." I can't seem to get my body to function when i am feeling helpless. Not being able to help a person in a particular situation leaves me feeling desolute and useless. But i got myself out of bed today, so thats a start i guess.
I'm dressed, but i don't know what i'm wearing. I'm eating something, but i don't know what it is. I'm typing, but i don't know what i'm saying. I'm looking straight ahead of me, but all i see is her. And him. And how i've let him down.
I'm so sorry.
Song of the moment: Ave Maria
posted by Syxx at 11:58 AM
3 Comments:
A horrific event, or what potentially could be a horrific event, is even worse sitting on the edge, waiting for it to hit you. Waiting for the jump, the plunge.
And the ride down is no picnic.
Just know that people will be there to break your fall, and to lend a hand when you're life has turned upsidedown.
Take comfort in the simple things in life you find amusing.
Know that you're not alone in the ride down.
That's what I feel like after an unusually long drunk binge, or Johnny Depp with his drug binge, or Lewis Carroll with his life binge. Maybe it's the making of a great person. Maybe it's just surreal encounters and life threatening diseases?
hurry up and write things...I like reading your brain
Post a Comment
<< Home